The immediacy has become our greatest virtue and our worst flaw. We live in a world where a second is enough to obtain any answer, at least if the question is simple and superficial. “What is the name of the actor in that film?”. Fingers glide across the screen, and if the connection is good, a couple of seconds are enough to have the answer. If the connection is unstable and instead of two seconds it’s thirty, we grow impatient. “We must see that the coverage is poor.”
This immediacy, which seems positive in its most superficial aspect, is also our big fault. Because complex questions will never have quick answers. What does it take to be happy? Whoever believes it takes less than a lifetime to discover it will be sorely disappointed.
This effect is analysed by the personal‑growth expert Víctor Küppers in an interview he gives to Uri Sabat, but applied to his own field: overcoming the barriers we set for ourselves. Because life, Küppers asserts, is for those with willpower, since motivation barely helps us take the first step.
Willpower
“A person with willpower goes much further than a person who is merely clever,” says Küppers, quoting his father, the psychiatrist Marian Rojas Estapé. A similar idea is echoed in his podcast. If he has to choose between talent and an unstoppable mindset, he will not hesitate to opt for the latter.
Applied to the realm of happiness, the expert notes that many people approach him asking for a definitive guide—the “seven steps to happiness”—the easy answers to complex questions. He responds “no, it’s a matter of work. It’s a matter of habits.”
For him it is clear, “willpower is more important than motivation”, because motivation lasts only for a while, and is useful only to get you started. But to reach the goal, what we need is discipline and willpower. An unstoppable mindset.
Habits That Change Your World
One of Víctor Küppers’ great mentors, as he has explained in various interviews and talks, is Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. A favourite in the self‑help world from which Küppers has drawn major lessons. One of the best known is the line: “Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we interpret it.”
But even that way of interpreting the world, that 90% that depends on perception, would say Küppers and Covey, depends on habits. For there is no ‘click’ or ‘Eureka!’ moment in real life. We must work on our mindset if we want to turn it into something unstoppable. And for that, some of the habits we need to cultivate, according to both experts, are the following:
Be Proactive
“I like people who are proactive,” Küppers asserts. “We need to smarten up a bit. The mindset I love is ‘what can I do’, because the alternative is to complain.”
This is, incidentally, the first habit Stephen Covey presents in his book. Being proactive, which does not mean “doing lots of things”, but consciously choosing your response to what happens to you. Because proactive people are not defined by their circumstances, but by their values.
Begin with the End in Mind
“No wind is favourable for the person who does not know to which harbour they are steering,” said the Stoic philosopher Seneca. And Küppers agrees. “What matters is that you know what you want, because many people do not know what they want,” says the expert in the cited podcast.
Once again, this is the second habit Covey proposes in his book. Everything is created twice. The first time in our minds. And then in reality. Therefore, the habit lies in defining our purpose, our values and the life we want to build, so that we can live it. Küppers also echoes the expert’s great advice. Instead of painting yourself on a blank canvas, ask yourself, what do you want your children, your friends, your family to say about you? Becoming that person must be your purpose.
Put First Things First
There is little use in knowing where you are going if you cannot prioritise what is important over what is urgent. We need to work on the habit of self‑management, not just time management.
And that means learning to say no without guilt, planning according to our values, and dedicating time to preventing bigger problems, whether they concern health, our relationships or planning.
