Fewer and fewer of those grandparents remain who can tell us that here there was a war in which brothers fought against brothers. We know wars exist and are near, but they still feel like things that happen in other countries. Ours feels distant.
That is why, when younger generations show us how quickly memory can fade, and that fascism and the Civil War are merely words, we must revisit those more recent minds who lived through those times to see what they told us.
One of those voices is the Salamanca-born writer Carmen Martín Gaite. Her childhood and adolescence were lived through war and the harsh post-war era. It was poverty. It was a difficult way of life. To that, add an even more tragic personal trajectory: the loss of a son and, years later, of her eldest daughter.
No one like her, an essayist, novelist, a great thinker of human existence, to help us understand this existential absurdity that surrounds us. Are we toys of a prankster god? How should we approach life?
Don’t settle for merely existing
The line we have chosen to highlight comes from one of her novels, Caperucita en Manhattan, published in 1990. It is an adaptation of the classic fairy tale to modern life. There, through a character who asks “What do you call living?”, Martín Gaite unfolds a set of images and actions that, together, form a philosophy of life:
“To me, living is not being in a hurry, contemplating things, lending an ear to others’ troubles, feeling curiosity and compassion, not telling lies, sharing with the living a glass of wine or a piece of bread, remembering with pride the lesson of the dead, not allowing ourselves to be humiliated or deceived, not answering yes or no without having counted to one hundred as Donald Duck used to do… Living is knowing how to be alone to learn to be in the company of others, and living is explaining oneself and crying… and living is laughing.”
Through her character, the writer describes herself. Unlike other reflections on the meaning of life that remain abstract, Martín Gaite offers a concrete, lived definition. Don’t merely exist. We should savour this gift of life and do so with purpose.
Please, read the paragraph again; it is worth it. It invites you to imagine all you could do to make this life a little happier, even in the face of misfortune, which there will be.
Six ideas for life
Personally, I take away six principles from this creed that strike me as particularly revealing.
- “Don’t hurry.” Where are you aiming to get to? Ask yourself, because we do so many urgent things that we forget what matters. The important thing is to live. Urgency robs us of our attention. To live without rushing is to observe life with our senses alert.
- “Contemplate things.” Don’t pass by quickly without stopping, listening, feeling, noticing. It is an invitation to be where you are and to discover that beauty is a field flower, a child’s gaze, or a Strauss waltz. One must learn to practise contemplation.
- “Feel curiosity and compassion.” Combine two traits that pull us out of our own ego: curiosity opens us to mystery and compassion brings us close to others’ suffering. Both allow life to be richer and more humane.
- “Don’t tell lies.” It is a simplification of an essential ethical principle. If you live with honesty—not only with others, but with yourself—you will live in peace. And that is fundamental.
- “Share with the living a glass of wine or a slice of bread.” She exemplifies the most elemental human communion. Being sociable, friends of our friends, is true happiness. Sit around a table, swap stories, laugh together.
- “Remember with pride the lessons of the dead.” Martín Gaite, who left us a quarter of a century ago, is a lesson and an example. Let us remember her and others like her who leave us life lessons. Let us not presume we know it all. Those who went before us, through their writings, remind us of the path we still have to walk.
How it applies today
Thirty-five years have passed since she wrote that line, and it remains every bit as relevant. Movements such as slow living and mindfulness are popular today and essentially enact what Martín Gaite articulated with such precision.
Nor did she write from nowhere. As the saying goes, she stood on the shoulders of giants to shape her reflections. Philosophies such as existentialism and humanism have long drawn attention to authenticity, personal responsibility and the meaning each person assigns to their own life.
Other great writers, particularly thinking of Albert Camus, have spoken about seeking meaning in a world where there are no final answers and much that defies easy explanation.
The sense of life is not a destination; it is a continuous process of choices, attention and relationships with others.
